It's impossible to imagine another person's symptoms exactly without having lived them and migraines can be really hard for others to understand in the same way there are other health conditions I can only sympathise with without understanding completely what daily living with it is like. I feel it's really important to raise awareness of this invisible condition which so many suffer with.
Migraine is not just a headache, it comes with a whole host of different symptoms which different people suffer with a variety of. Today I'd like to talk about one which I find particularly vexing. Ah yes, talking...
In Spring 2010 it hit the news that a lady called Sarah Colwill had suffered such a severe migraine attack it somehow left her with a Chinese accent leaving her friends and family unable to recognise her voice on the phone. Migraines can not only cause their victims to crave peace and quiet with little energy to speak through the pain, but can also directly affect the way you speak.
I personally know this too well and it makes me nervous in case people judge me if they notice a big change between our meetings. On relatively good days I've been asked whether I've had elocution lessons and on especially bad oness my own parents cannot make out what on earth my mumblings mean. It's far from unusual for me to find keeping up my diction exhausting as I suffer from migraines constantly, and I truly mean constantly for the last several years. If you spend several hours with me you may even notice the change in that time. Then on another physical level there are some days when my face is just in so much wretched pain to be honest I really don't feel like moving my jaw.
As much as I have topics I'd love to talk about in video blogs, it's not just worrying about how I'll look speaking that's anxiously holding me back.
Just over three years ago I tried an unusual medication, having been referred to a headache consultant by my lovely GP who has run out of tablets to try on me when the doses were getting higher and higher. The effects of this new medication on my migraines were catastrophic and resulted in me dropping out of my A Levels at school, something which broke my heart and I'm only just coming to terms with.
I couldn't have started this blog earlier than I did because it wasn't just speech but expressing myself at all that was the problem whether verbally or in writing. A few sensible words together were a struggle, let alone a History essay. In fact if you go back through my archives you can see my progress from my early simplistic posts. Now it's fun to have a choice of post lengths for variety.
I'm not sure if there's an exact finishing point I'm heading towards with this blog post and there's certainly more aspects of migraine to be discussed, but I think it's really important to raise awareness of how very debilitating migraines are.
Now to end the blog post with a smile I'm leaving you with a picture of my guinea pigs in lolita headbows because hugging them always makes me smile.
8 comments:
This was a very brave post for you to write. I say that especially as a good friend and fellow sufferer. It really is hard to put into words quite how things like migraines feel and effect us. It breaks my heart knowing you are suffering and that there is nothing I can do. It makes me angry that they haven't had any new medication break throughs for you to try. I think the thing I personally find hardest is the ability to communicate what I am going through. That you can't talk because you head is splitting open. That you can't see all of a sudden. So bravo for speaking out, keep your chin up because I know we will one day not have to suffer any more. xxx P.s the Guinea pigs look adorable
Florrie this is such a heartfelt post. I've only had a few minor migranes but even they were horrible so I can't imagine how much pain you must be in. Really hoping there's a breakthrough on the way for you soon.
x
I had no idea you suffered so terribly with migraines. I'm very lucky that I've only ever had a few, but I can usually drink some water or take a tablet to get rid of it. It must be so hard not being able to do anything about it. Well done for speaking out on this issue, it's definitely one I hadn't ever thought about before, so thank you for educating me!
I do love your blog, you are a very talented writer and I hope that you can find a solution soon! x
Thank you for such a beautifully written post. I suffer from migraines regualarly (at least 1 once a month) and it's hard to explain to people exactly how it feels. The communication part is the worse. To me it feels gradual, like a storm building for a couple of days and as a result my communication gets more and more monosyllabic. And as a girl who can usually strike up a rivvetting conversation with a lampshade people often find it hard to understand. The longest I went without suffering an attack was when I was practicing Bikram Yoga. I tried it on a whim as it's not usually my thing at all but it really did help. I hope you find a solution that works for you soon. Lx
Thanks for explaining. The worst thing with 'invisible' conditions is how hard it is to imagine what it feels like from outside. Awareness is vitally important. I can empathise with the communication thing- I'm not a migraine sufferer but have a condition and suffice to say people give you funny looks when you're a performer/educator/blogger and you can't get a sentence out or look people in the eye.
I do hope that the medical support you're getting at the moment helps you manage your migraines and reach your dreams in spite of them. God bless.
I have been a migraine sufferer. They were awful back in school. My head of year didn't believe/understand what a migraine was and pretty much said I was lying. She didn't understand that they affected my vision and made my hands numb, not to mention the pain which made me vomit. She seemed to think I should be able to work through it despite this : (
Glad you done this blog post, yes migraines is no joke and can lead into many horrible things. My migraines have lead me into collapsing, slurred speech to name a few. Any awareness is good, for others and myself who can relate, help each other out and bring this to the forefront.
To echo other comments, this is both beautiful and painful. I'll always remember an observation made by the author Hilary Mantel, where she was talking about a patient in hospital. She observes that a visitor to that patient usually imagines things from their own perspective - from the point of view of a well person who can travel around without pain. It is often hard to understand the trauma of others' experiences if we have not felt it ourselves.
I don't know what it is like to have a migraine (although I can understand back pain), so all I can do is just extend my thoughts and well-wishes towards you. It's so, so hard to have to deal with something as debilitating as what you have. So to see you recently at LFW looking lovely and colourful was wonderful! I hope that they find a medication that works for you.
Roz x
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